The election helpline

This is one of the posts I read and think “I WISH I’d written this” Fed Up with Election Drivel READ THIS and then Share


The lovely wibbly wobbly old lady

just a little bit of fun …

It’s the early hours of the morning. In number 10 Downing Street, just call me Dave picks up the ‘phone. His hand shakes as he nervously dials the number …

A calming female voice says, “Good morning. Thank you for calling the election helpline. Please note that all calls are recorded for security and training purposes. Calls from a BT landline cost 10 pence a minute (plus VAT) calls from mobile networks may be higher”.

Music plays … Always look on the bright side of life by Monty Python

The female voice speaks again. “Thank you for holding, your call is important to us”

More music…

Then another female voice speaks. This one is NOT calming. This one sounds like … Margaret Hodge.

“If you are the candidate for a marginal seat, press 1”

“If you are the present incumbent of Number…

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