When Depression has a Reason

This post is inspired by Ron’s Rants – A day in a life with Chronic illness and Disability.

How I empathise with anyone whose life revolves around their daily routine of medication and who suffer from Depression, particularly those who regularly battle that little voice which whispers empty the meds cupboard and welcome to the darkness!

I too am in the midst of a deep depression that begs me to isolate myself, to let go of seeing family and friends and submit to the dark thoughts.

And as a counsellor in some seemingly distant part of my former life, I find this particularly worrying; because I acknowledge the traditional talking therapies actually can’t help with this particular bout.

The reason is, this particular depth of depression is a result of the situation I find myself in, the Welfare Reform Act had left me financially and to some extent physically & emotionally wrecked.

In less than a year, I’ve gone from being able to manage to survive on my Benefits; to losing so much income via ‘The Cuts’, it is no longer viable to live without help from family, and the family Pot is shrinking fast; I also live in fear of the next round, when I’m in genuinely terrified that I’ll be forced to give up my home (or end up evicted)

This situation means my once managed Depression is also becoming fast unmanageable! And for the first time in 50 years I can see No Way Forward!

I’m hanging in here because of the very family I’m bleeding dry, who tell me daily I’m worth it; so I too hope they’re right

All best xx

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11 thoughts on “When Depression has a Reason

  1. Jayne I’m so so sorry and angry that you find yourself in this position. I felt the same last year but somehow have rallied (I got put in the Support Group finally which helps, although it only lasts a year). I have got my DLA increased too. I don’t know what conditions you have but please don’t give up trying to fight the bastards, there are a lot of us in the same boat so you must remember this is nothing to do with you as a person…. I am amazed I finally got a bit more money (although like you I am also bleeding my 91 year old mother dry – she has taken out equity from her retirement flat so we can have a bit of a life – but there’s no more available!). I do think that things are going to improve and honestly, the bottom line is, hugely surprising and wonderful things sometimes happen that turn everything around even when you could never ever have imagined it!
    Hang in there Sista! xxx

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  2. I empathise. I too am struggling a daily battle with depression (a side effect of living with epilepsy). I was also kicked off ESA and am struggling with my finances. I have a supportive family but like most suffers I hide a lot of my problems and paint on a smile – some days though that’s too much of an effort.
    I wish you well.

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  3. Hi Jayne,

    Well as a trained psychotherapist, counsellor, hypnotherapist NLP practitioner etc etc I can vouch that none of them ( including the “great CBT ” !!!) helped me one bit when I was at my worst, neither did my attempts to avoid antidepressants by diet, exercise ( so much of it ) meditation, ST Johns Wort, LTryptophan, 5htp, etc etc.

    In the end I had to go for the drugs and eventually I found one that worked ( well a combo actually of valium and celexa).
    I don’t know if you are on meds but I do know that for me they were certainly not happy pills, just ” able to cope pills”.

    I am not suggesting that you do go for them if you not want to , just saying that for me they help a lot and I dont care anymore if I’m on them for life ! after all who would say to a diabetic “well lets get you off this insulin and have you some nice CBT instead !”

    I hope you manage to get through this ok, if you do have to deal with ATOS again you might want to consider asking for a recording or a “supersession” with the DWP, but I guess that at the moment you just feel like going to bed and staying there like Idid for a long time.

    Oli

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    • I am so very happy to have read this from you, I often rail against the latest hobby horses these people jump on, sometimes these statagies work for some people but most often they do not. I am one of those people that had great hopes of certain things helping, not one did, there is a reason for that. Until we know much, much more about how our brains work then airy-fairy will not be a valid science, in my opinion.

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      • Yes Joanna, my list was very incomplete, actually included many more things, like a extract from a deep sea fishes stomach – Garum Armoricum and going down to Glastonbury to see Britains supposed greatest healer !
        Well maybe he can pass his hands over plants and make them grow faster but severe depression , sorry to be blunt he failed miserably.
        I still exercise, meditate, take high strength EPA and DHA capsules, but the drugs
        are the bedrock, as you say nobody really knows how they work but at least for me ( and three of my friends – the same antidepressant !) they work when nothing else touched it !
        Oli

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  4. Dear Jaynne, every single one of us is worth our lives, we are of more value than those in positions of power can ever know. It is a fact that our value exceeds theirs by ten to one, hang on to that thought.

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