Two women I have met through Social Networking, yesterday blogged for Fibromyalgia Awareness Day and this blog was inspired by them. D in her wonderful post http://ramblingsofafibrofoggedmind.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/fibromyalgia-mecfs-awareness-day-why-is-the-truth-so-hard, talked amongst other things of how todays world has become Hedonistic; and Beth in http://but-you-dont-look-sick.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/is-it-psychosomatic-then.html talked of how important being truthful to yourself is and summed it up for me in her “Superman and wonder woman are fictional characters for a reason”. Check them both out for a full argument.
I totally agree with D’s assessment of us existing in a hedonistic Society; although I’m not sure if it always hasn’t been so. I think when people look back, it always seems to have been safer, cleaner, friendlier, and even the summers were longer! I know my mum (in hers 80s) will state adamantly this was the case, but then again I grew up hearing this, including from my grandparents who were born in the 1800s and one lived through being blown up in the trenches of WW1! So how much of this is a natural tendency for us to put on those much used rose-tinted glasses?
On the surface, I can understand why my mum might believe that things were better yesterday; Yes, in the past people did come together to challenge inequalities and campaign for a better deal, we have our much underused voting rights and the bare bones of what was once the envy of the world our NHS to prove this. And on a more personal level, Yes, I remember being sent out to visit different houses in the Street to see if Auntie Alice (or whoever) needed any shopping fetching.
So is it true, I’m not sure but I do think we all have a tendency to look back and feel our younger days were better, as children and young people most of us are lucky enough to have had families that loved and supported us, and we’re free from having to make decisions for ourselves. It is as we get older and become seen as ‘responsible ‘ that I believe the tendency starts because if we are ‘responsible’ for our actions and attitudes then it becomes down to us to choose how we think and behave and therefore if only by default it is our own fault if, and when, things go wrong. This includes how we manage and react to our illnesses, and the illnesses of others.
I’m not saying that the situation today with the Coalition Government seemingly out to destroy everything and anything fought for and once held dear by the common person; isn’t happening, nor am I claiming it is OK that Society is apparently watching this happening without appearing to ‘give a damn’. But I do wonder if those of us with Fibro (and other debilitating and invisible disabilities), possibly feel we would be taking the appropriate seemingly missing direct action, if only our health allowed it; and it is the loss of our health that is maybe resulting in us, using those rose tinted glasses?
Its oh so easy to take the guilt we feel, about not being able to do what we want or think we ought to on board, internalise it and begin to believe it; but to bring us back to Bs argument, be honest with yourself and accept your limitations. In fact most decent therapists will tell you the first step to change is acceptance, of you, who you are today, what you can do now, and what you give to others; and then learn to value and treasure this.
So please take off the rose tinted specs, and put the clear ones back on, you’ll see better and maybe it might just reduce the number of Headaches.